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On XP

Referencing this:

Individual, group, and no XP?
I look at each obstacle that must be overcome and award XP based on whether this obstacle is overcome by the group or the individual.  For example, a monster or a trap in most cases something that the group will work together on, so everyone gets equal XP for contributing.

However, there are obstacles that are individual.  Everyone has to walk the tight rope to the other side of the bridge, or fall in and swim.  XP for this task is given individually just like they must individually complete the task.  If they figure out a group method (we take a boat across) the task becomes a group task with group XP again.

Absent player XP?

Absent players don't get XP.

Awards for roleplaying, miniatures, backgrounds, pizza, etc?
I use karma points as a reward for these things.  Karma points give you a save from death, allow you to autostabilize to zero hit points, allow you to take extra actions, allow you to reroll any roll, and other things you wound't normally be able to do.

Other awards come as flexibility from the GM.

Recently I had a player realize that playing a male paladin was not for her.  To keep her as a happy, contributing member of our group, I threw in a story line that got her paladinic powers taken away (letting her become a fighter) and soon she will find a belt of gender change so she can have her female fighter character.  The drawback is that I am only letting her move a couple points of charisma around in her attributes (since logically a charismatic male doesn't really translate to a charismatic female).  The storyline also will make things more interesting for the rest of the group and be a source of endless 'you used to be a man' jokes.

Another player is a ranger that gets an animal companion.  Rather than forcing him to buy a companion, I just make sure that one appears under relevant circumstances in the story.

When do you level up?
Leveling up needs to occur in a safe civilization.  To accommodate the rarity of making it back to a safe civilization, I will let players close to leveling up go ahead and level up with their group so that they don't get behind a level for an entire adventure that may last weeks.  This somewhat normalizes out XP differences due to individual XP and an occasional absence.
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