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Unrest in the Community: The Road to Peace through Inclusiveness

I follow Zak Smith who writes the Blog "Playing DnD with Porn Stars" (nsfw). It is interesting for those wanting to get a different perspective on a gaming group.  Zak seems to have gotten himself crossways with members of the community over his general attitude that discussions of feminism need to to be inclusive beyond the typical conservative elements that seem to drive feminism.  Zak has responded in his defense.  Still more interesting is an article from one of his players that puts their gaming group in perspective, as well as their reception by the gaming community.  I am the PinkDiceGM because I have an active interest in girls in gaming.  I have 4 daughters that I want to have good experiences in our hobby.  My conclusions thus far I think are rather interesting, though they don't really address the gaming community, especially with the strength that Zak has.

The most important aspect of our community of gamers is that it needs to be inclusive in every sense.  Gamers of all types need to be welcome in our community.  Characters of all types must be welcome in our games.  The second a GM infringes on the rights of the player to play their rules-legal character, the contract is broken.  All games should be accepted from simple games like "Everyone is John" to D&D 3.5 which spans hundreds of books.

The idea of bringing issues of gender, sexual orientation, faith, or heritage of the player into the community as an important aspect seems wrong.  The rule is simple:  All gamers are welcome.  Anyone that breaks that is wrong.  In game, characters can reflect the imagination or reality of players in whatever way they want.  I personally like to play and experience strong female characters, but other people may want to explore other aspects of their character.  In game, things like gender, sexual orientation, faith, and heritage are aspects that can be explored.  So long as this fits in to the legal rules, they should be allowed.  There should be qualifiers, but they should be fair and unbiased.  For example, when playing with younger players, I may not allow sex in my games, or perhaps I may indicate that sexual encounters need to be tastefully described in the game without details.  This is a fine line to be walked, but usually I qualify these games with being a "family friendly game with players as young as BLANK", and things usually don't get too out of hand.  And, it doesn't bother me that other players and GMs may handle this differently.

As a GM, I have had to deal with disruptive players before, which in many ways is the mark of coming of age of a GM.  What we must be careful of, is making sure that we are truly being fair when we label a player disruptive.  Are they disruptive because that "don't fit in"?  I think this means they bring new ideas to the table, and this is a very positive thing.  In the past I have had to tell my players to chill because a differently thinking players changed "their game" and they were upset.  By the general rule of inclusiveness, I can't just kick out a player because he or she changes the game.  That is what players are supposed to do -- contribute to the game, to the story, and to the world.

How do we balance this with rule zero:  everybody has fun.  This simple answer is expectations.  When we start a game, we need to lay down the type of game we are playing, the rules of the game, and set the expectations.  Players don't like to be surprised by their contract with the GM about what the game is.  Setting expectations early for what the game is goes a long way to avoid breaking rule zero.  In cases where you think a particular element may be important to the players, call it out specifically.

All of these things I have talked about, I think should be self-evident, but I realize that other people are in different places with their perspectives. I can coexist with those people.  My beliefs to not require everyone else to believe the same thing.  Ultimately, I don't care who you are, because I will treat you with respect.  In our community, love wins.  We need love in our community -- love for games, love for players, and even love for characters.  And if you want to really discuss feminism in our community, be inclusive.  Chainmail bikinis (nsfw) are allowed but not mandatory, and let the game play go on.

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